so I'm back.

I actually got back last Tuesday, almost a week ago. But I've been busy, getting back into work and being uproariously drunk all weekend. Seriously, I think I may have a problem. I am going to have to chill out a bit (read: dry out). At least I have not been smoking, the one thing I am still clinging to that I am proud about. The drinking, though, hmm becoming increasingly less cool. It's my next area of focus in Eleanor Improvement.

Africa was amazing. I'll write about it when I can show you pictures too.

For your political humour enjoyment, here is a link to a hilarious Will-Ferrell-as-George-W spot. Always good for a laugh.

More later, kids: Mama's got to work.

Never say goodbye

This will be my last post for a while. As you well know, I am off for Africa tomorrow. I will be gone for a week and a half. I hope you are okay while I am gone.

It's 3pm on a Friday afternoon, the day before my vacation. Where do you think my brain is? Not here. I decided I needed a cup of coffee, so I ambled down to the breakroom to find. . . no coffee. Actually, there were tiny amounts in two pots, but someone had turned off the warmers so both were ice cold. If they had been on, I probably would have combined the two pots to scrape out a cup. I decide that I want flavoured coffee--my company buys that shit. I think I'm the only one who uses it. I start rummaging through, looking for a decaf version, and finally decide to dump the box out and organize the flavours. Again, it's 3pm on a Friday, the day before my vacation. Here is a sampling of the coffees:

1. Bananas Foster (ew)
2. Southern Pecan
3. Southern Pecan Delight (no idea what could be the difference)
4. Jamaican Me Crazy (sigh)
5. Sinful Delight (tempted to brew this just to see)

But no decaf. I pull all the packets out of the box, and the VERY last one is: Hazlenut Decaf. I actually said "Yay!" out loud. I pulled out a filter, opened the bag, and took a sniff before I poured it in. I hope it tastes a lot better than it smells. I'll let you know.

I said I wouldn't

Originally uploaded by smelly_.

but I can't help it!! At left is where I will be SUNDAY. Yeeeeeeeee!

miss me?

You might think that since I have not blogged in an ENTIRE WEEK, I might have been out of town. Or dead in a ditch. Or my fingers fell off. But NO! I am just incredibly slack. Really, I don't know where the time went. It was Labour Day weekend. Basically it went like this:

• Friday: blotto
• Saturday: recovered from Friday's blotto
• Sunday: blotto
• Monday: recovered from Sunday's blotto

As you can see, it was an exciting time. I know you wish you were me. That's natural. The only thing that really pleased me about the long weekend is that NOT ONCE was I tempted to have a cigarette. That was a big deal to me, to be in bars and around smokers, and not feel the urge. Today makes Day 8. I feel pretty confident about this.

In two days, TWO DAYS, I leave for Africa. Actually, I leave for Paris. But then Africa. I am starting to feel the buzz of excitement growing in my belly. I'm discouraging its growth, because once it takes over, work is out the window. I only have today and tomorrow to go. THEN AFRICA. ooh, I'm going to have to change subjects, my legs are starting to wiggle.

I got up this morning at 5:30am. I don't enjoy doing this. The first thing that I noticed was that NPR was playing some crazy shit at 5:30am. It was like the DJ had his 9-year old son practicing the trumpet on air with two sick dogs in the background howling. I listened to it for about 3.72 seconds before slapping it off. It is so dark at 5:30am. I turned on the TV and was BLINDED by the light it produced. It seriously hurt. Despite this literally rude awakening, I was dressed and decent and out of the house by 6:04am. Made two stops on the way, the first at Starbucks to buy a cup of coffee the size of my head, and then to Chik-fil-a to get eggs and sausage for my brek. Coffee: good idea (albeit a little jittery). Eggs and sausage: bad idea (sitting like a stone in my tum).

ok, off to a mtng.

Last night I had a dream

K hearts that opening, I know. But anyway, last night I dreamt that I kept picking up lit cigarettes and taking a couple of puffs before being like, "Wait, I quit. Shit!" and stubbing them out. I woke up this morning and for a few bleary moments had to figure out if I had really smoked or not. Dreams aside, it's going really well. I went to Manuel's last night, drank some beers, and had absolutely no desire to smoke. Didn't even think about it. Not saying that I won't be tempted ever, but at least for now all is A-OK.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Hey, speaking of Manuel's, I didn't know that he recently died--last month. RIP.

nasty fucking shit

nasty fucking shit
Originally uploaded by smelly_.

Last night was my last smoking night.

In order to seal the deal, I smoked myself silly. The objective was to make myself sick on them so that I wouldn't want one anytime soon, get me over the hump, etc. I succeeded. I gagged about 900 times as I smoked 15 cigarettes in 3.5 hours. My head hurt, my throat burned, I kept almost passing out, hallucinations and delirium. It was BAD. I talked to my last cigarette, told it how much I hated it, how they were killing me, and that I didn't need them anymore.

This morning I still feel like shit. Head/throat/and abdomen for some reason. Wish me luck.