Time warp!

Favourite site right now: someecards.com. Sampling below:

Topical!

Little to close to home!

Jesus this blogging thing is hard to keep up with--I was convinced that it had only been a couple of days since my last post and here is is, actually EIGHT. Some things that have happened to me:

I hit my 10% weight-loss goal this week. It's gone, hopefully not to return until I trap a man into marriage and then brianwilsonballoon on him so that my fat grows around my wedding ring and makes it a permanent part of my body and a permanent reminder for him that he will never ever be able to get rid of me no matter how hard he tries with those streetwalkers and skanky hos.

In other news, and in no relation to the claptrap above I swear to sweet baby jesus, I went on a date last night. And it was fun. And I am going to see him again. And you can't stop me.

Crotchety-yet-less-of-me

First of all, I think this is the best blog title I have ever come up with. EVER.

The explanation for it is two-fold. First of all, I realised this morning that something I do everyday may, in fact, look incredibly weird to someone else. And by someone else, I mean the guy in the car next to me at a stoplight on the way to work. And by something I mean take the eyelash curler out of my crotchal region where I put it to warm it up so that it curls my eyelashes better.

Because I do all my make-up in the car. But plenty of women do, right? And plenty of women use eyelash curlers, right? And when they're cold, they don't work as well, right?

Is anyone with me on this? Because the guy next to me acted as if I had produced a rabbit from my vagina and was now eating it live.

The second thing is that I weighed in today and I've lost 3 pounds since my last weigh-in! I do think most of it is water weight, though. And the fact that I removed everything to the point of being only slightly dressed before hopping on the scale. And the fact that I made myself throw up 4 times this week. Kidding!

Still, I'm pleased. And my eyelashes look grrreat!

It's true!

So, posting for the first time when you haven't done so in 3 months is a little intimidating. After all, what could be the trigger event that would inspire one to pick up after a QUARTER OF A YEAR, leaving her friends and family in a turmoiled limbo, gnashing their teeth and wailing, "When, when, WHEN??? WILL SHE POST AGAIN?"

But then I found that topic. And it is:DanActive immunity drinks.

They're really tasty. Try them for yourselves. Except Leah, I guess, who can't. Ha ha!

In related news, I've gotten mean since you last heard from me. Old age.