AND ANOTHER THING!

Kev and I are splitsville. For real. It's been pretty crappy for a while, and he doesn't care anymore and I am just so sick of the same old shit that never changes significantly or for any sustained period of time. The capper came when Kev answered his mobile on Friday then immediately hung up when he saw it was me calling. After 10 minutes of stunned no he didn't I texted him: I can't believe you just did that. And he texted back: I had to.

I had to? What the eff does that even mean? I got home and crouched into a little ball on my kitchen floor and cried my smashed-up heart out. Such an amazingly powerful hurt, I kept saying no one gets to treat me like this like an effing mantra just so I wouldn't get completely hysterical. I went to sleep all snotty-nosed and gaspy. I woke up in the morning, resolute to mail him all his crappy shit back, ie; every photo I have of him and all his chintzy and gauche things that were supposed to pass as gifts (ex; the HIDEOUS stone/marble sunrise lamp thingy). I also considered mailing back the computer he built for me, and LO it broke this weekend. Won't dial up the modem. I think it is more than simple coincidence. Am thinking that the cost to mail back all the shizz is going to be extremely prohibitive. I at least need to send a prepaid mailer to get my effing silk formal and suede flips back.

Remarkably calm about the whole affair. Eff him, I've wasted enough time. And Mum was right: people just can't (hmm or won't) change who they truly are. Thanks Ma.

Damn this new blogger takes forever to post shizz. grr.

Did I mention that I am so tired today that I have nearly fallen asleep nine times in my office, my boss' office, my boss' boss' office, the bathroom, the breakroom, the cafeteria, um that's about it. I am FANTASIZING about going home, getting into my pjs, putting something on to cook, and zoning out in front of telly. It's sad, really. My body has become so progressively sore that I actually have to yank my leg up over my other with both hands into order to cross my legs. Jesus it's like effing entropy.

I might remind you that this is after one day of moderate physical excercise.

It was a good weekend.

Spent money like a rockstar at Costco AND Sam's. . . so basically screwed myself for all of June. Money-wise. But I did get a DVD player, finally. Bought High Fidelity, The Cooler, and Uncle Buck as my first DVDs. This was Saturday morning/afternoon. Puttered around the rest of the day, got my car fixed (kind of), and then went over to Kat and Erich's for Victoir's birthday party. We had our own mini Screen on the Green, so much fun. Sunday I dragged my ass out of bed and went up to Sam's where I got my tires rotated and spent another nine skillion dollars. Then to the Dodgeball Tournament in Lake Claire, where I got tagged really hard on the wrist, for which I now have a lovely wine-stain of a bruise to show for it. Then on to McKoy Park for the Thinking Man/U-Joint softball game. Played third for a while, got a line drive for a needed out. Made me feel good, all athletic and shit. Body in some serious ache today. Pathetic.

I have been DEDICATED to earning enough skymiles to go to Africa to see my sister for over a year now. It has been very tough, racking up all those credit card bills on my AMEX. WELL! I finally accrued 80k miles--what it takes to get there--and I rang up Delta the other day to book a flight. After approx 1 hour on the phone, checking every conceivable date in the 21st century, I was--in airline terminology--SOL. Nice. I was so frustrated, going date by date and getting shot down every time, that my voice began to crack while I was on the phone with this guy. I croaked priceless gems like, "Well, why do they say you can go there if you can't go there?" and "I've worked really hard to get all these miles, you know?" The guy was getting pretty embarrassed, since I was pretty much crying and all, so just before I totally lost it I barked, "I GOTTA GO!!" and hung up. Shot off a quick email to my sister declaring everything off, typing hard and furiously wiping tears out of my eyes before they had a chance to run down my face.

Fast forward to this morning. Called Delta again just to see if things had changed, and I GOT A FLIGHT!!!! It's all very exciting, 10 days in mid-Sept. Still need to finalize details/make sure it is cool with sis/etc, but hopefully will be good to go.

What a difference a couple of weeks makes. Not as catchy as a day, but that's just how it went.

By request. . .

Kev Visit, Part Two
Sports shameless mullet
Defiant with his long locks
Caesar come back please

That's right buddy: not only are you MAIMED FOR LIFE, get out of our effing zoo!!!

Talk about shit-for-luck.

Guess it wasn't hard to finger the right guy.
Didn't take a lot to point him out.
Luckily, the police gave them a hand.
Looks like they really nailed him.

Okay, it's getting weak. I'm done here.

Karen organized a dodgeball game for this upcoming Sunday. It's the first game of the year, I'm excited. But then I saw this article on the web today. And I realized that Karen is nothing but an effing trendsetter.

Whoops forgot to write one about the Kev visit.

Kev Visit
Couldn't breathe what's new
Complained about ev'rything
Why do I date him?

Therapists, you know where to call.

It would also be great if my blogger audience (read: Karen) wrote a comment every now and then. I mean, would it effing kill you? I need some acknowledgement here.

To keep me going.

Please.


Just a sign.



That someone is listening.







Anyone?

ok, so I know I posted last week about how I had all this shizz to catch up on, but the plain fact is: I'm never going to write it. Jeez I can't even post daily, let alone post multiple past days and activities. And if you thought that I was, well I can tell you now that it was a little unrealistic. I mean, really.

Hmm, now I feel like I am letting my blogger audience (read: Karen) down. How about recap haikus instead?

Birthday
All my friends with me
sweltering karaoke
Please turn the air on

New Job
Effing far away
Placated by lots o cash
My boss has a lisp

Chicago
Bonding with sisters
Eats darts zoo boat flick game shops
Hungover and broke

Well, that has sapped my creative energy for the day. Tonight I have grand ambitions of cleaning off my porch, replanting the pots, etc. I have seeds and everything.

I will probably sit my fat ass on the sofa and watch telly instead.

And there's not even anything good on tonight.

I miss my sister Claire. We hung out all week last week (see upcoming post of Chicago trip, it will be riveting), and now I miss her a lot. It makes me feel like an idiot to have lived less than five minutes away from her for almost five years and go weeks without seeing her.

Karen just emailed me to tell me she updated her blog's design. I got all excited and went to take a look. It's the same design, nothing changed. What an effing liar.

FINALLY just read Karen's blog , after nine years of not doing so, and caught up on her blogga self. She thinks I am mad at her. Nothing could be further from the truth, I was just in Chicago. Which just caps off a massive list of blogging to-do's that I have. . . to do. The list thus far:

--my birthday
--quitting my old job and starting at the new
--Kev visit
--Chicago trip

This has all been in the last three weeks, a tumultous time you will no doubt agree. So maybe I get a leetle leeway in being a bloggaslack. No? Eff you!!!

It starts to get scary when you invent fake dialogue between you and yourself on your rarely-updated blog. Sorry.

Just a quickie today, but I was thinking when I walked in this morning that it would be really useful if the first aid kit in the office had nail polish remover. Not necessarily an emergency item, I realize, but they have shit like cough drops in there and it's not as though those are CRUCIAL either. I talked about it to my colleague Jules and we created a bit of a list (in addition to the polish remover, with which she agreed):

--Emery boards
--Dental floss
--Sewing Kit (WITH SAFETY PINS!!! just thought of that)
--Disposable toothbrushes with paste (like wet and brush thingies)

In describing the last item, Jules said, "You know, like the ones you use on your dog. . .or the ones the people in jail have."

I'm going to have to watch that girl.

The ATL is the most potholiest place on the planet. And my car is an effing magnet for them. This morning I celebrated what must be the one-skillionth time hitting this massive, gaping chasm in the highway, the highway for pete's sake. I mean, I have five lanes to choose from, and yet I always find myself in that one, and I never bloody well remember that it is there--until it is there. PLUS it's over by the white line, so either I am a really shitty driver, or that hole and my car are meant to be together.

Just found this. Ha.

Gah I'm already falling behind in my posts, my apologies to my 2 readers. So I turned in my notice today at work--it's still pretty surreal to think that I will be leaving. My boss took it pretty well, but I think it freaked him out since he had NO IDEA this was happening. Keep doing stuff like normal, then it will hit me that I only have 9.5 more days here. Man I grew up in this place! I find myself reminiscing about the milestones of youth vs. work environment, such as:

My third day of work ever when I was so hungover from the night before and my boss caught me with my face planted on my cool, smooth desk, NOT ASLEEP I might add, but just because, "It felt good."

and the classic:

Hauled into the office by le Boss because of scandously tight capri pants and recommended to wear clothing that was more flattering to my figure. Shut up, I still had the freshman fifteen, okay twenty-five.

the timeless:

Interviewing for the job in the first place and getting horrendously lost trying to find the building. Traipsed around the Georgia Tech campus in brand new shoes that were already killing me when two guys start yelling, "Lady! Lady! Hey Lady!" after me. I finally turn around and bellow, "WHAT?" and they say, "Do you know you're bleeding?" whereupon I look down to discover that, yes, Monty Python-like fountains of blood are squirting out of my heels with every step, leaving a delightful trail of goo the whole way down the sidewalk.

On another note, I just got totally shot down by an industry company that I needed info from (ah, you see I am still doing work here!). I was like can I have any information at all? And he was like well yes, I mean no, I mean sort of. Me: um do you have any ranges? Him: yes, but I can't share them with you. Me: are these employees on contract? Him: some are, and some aren't. THEN he says, do you have any other questions I can answer for you? !!!!! I pondered replying, nope, I'm fresh out of questions that you won't answer. I IM'ed Kevin about this and he totally one-upped me on what I should have said:

enkidu788:
you should have said yea, what rhymes with dick
enkidu788: Click

I knew there was a reason why I liked that boy. Peace out.

ALMOST forgot about this little IM gem from K, thank god I saved it. Enjoy.

crustofthedog: sorry
crustofthedog: i went out for my friend tom's b-day.
crustofthedog: too many margarittas
crustofthedog: i threw up on my pants and marlow kept yelling at me to take them off
crustofthedog: when I told him that this morning, he said, "you threw up?"
eleanorquinTEN: I am saving this IM
crustofthedog: shut it
eleanorquinTEN: lol

YES!

oh my god the timestamp issue continues. ok, did I fix it now?

Had to get up ass early this morning, aka 6am. This from a person who does not normally stir until about 8, so it was big-time. In preparation for this, I laid out all my clothes for today ala the first day of school. I actually woke up at 545 because--oh just shut up--I was crying in my dream and I woke myself up. I won't tell you what the dream was about because it was just so lame and okay I will tell you. I was sitting in front of these two horrible boys in an assembly-type thing, and they jacked off and smeared cum in my hair. So I am running around (with cum-streaked hair I might add) for the rest of the dream trying to get someone to I don't know arrest? punish? give a stern talking-to? to the boys. And no one will take me seriously and everyone keeps laughing at me, so I finally got really frustrated and started crying. Then I woke up, saw it was 545, thought this was VERY UNFAIR as the alarm was going to go off in 15 minutes, and tried to go back to sleep. But it was really hard because my nose was all stopped up from the crying. Still, I did get up when the alarm went off (okay one snooze but the clock is fast anyway), and was on my way in a flash. Laying out your clothes the night before really helps. Got to work and everything was VERY STILL. And dark. So I turned on the lights. Had one email, from dictionary.com, who provides me with a word of the day. Today's?

bailiwick \BAY-luh-wik\, noun:
1. A person's specific area of knowledge, authority, interest,
skill, or work.
2. The office or district of a bailiff.

Sent an email to prove that I was here really early, then checked the news: CNN. Not much there. Hmm, an hour later, a couple people are actually here. The moment is fading. The magic is gone. It's Thursday.