This is truly the saddest post I've ever made on this blog. I went to a bodysculpting class last night, and IT KICKED MY ASS. It was ridiculous. I hobbled out of there, already in some serious discomfort. Took a reeeally hot bath, which helped a lot (ta, C), but today. TODAY. Today I am in some serious pain. I got out of my chair after sitting for a while and my legs would only respond in a stiff, soldier's gait ala no kneecaps. I dropped something on the floor and just looked at it, knowing I wouldn't be able to bend down to pick it up. And the toilet. Well, let's just let the pic do the talking, hmm?
I'm totally going back next week.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
I know it's been a little bit
But I really miss this guy. Lenny!
Our spiritual father indeed. I only hope God realizes there's no WAY he can put Jerry in the corner.
Our spiritual father indeed. I only hope God realizes there's no WAY he can put Jerry in the corner.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
aha
So I just figured something out. If you are having a crappy time of something, just find someone who has it worse and focus on them--by comparision, your problems will simply meeeeelt away. My boss is SERIOUSLY stressing right now. Like I thought she was just about to cry a second ago. She couldn't even talk. So I sent her a cheer-up ecard and now I feel pretty good about my shit. It's all about perspective.
Not trying to trivialize her problems. But they do kind of help me deal with mine. And isn't that what good old Darwinism is all about?
Not trying to trivialize her problems. But they do kind of help me deal with mine. And isn't that what good old Darwinism is all about?
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
to do: everyfuckingthing
I'm stressed out.
For the last two weeks, my right lower eyelid has had a tic. I have also been prone to right temple headaches in addition to several frustrating and upsetting dreams. The capper? My skin is threatening to revolt: last week I was only just able to crush a rebellion uprising on my nose, and now my left cheek is looking suspect. Why is my body in such distress?
the big shit
My friend called me last night to tell me she just got engaged. This is adjacent to yet another area of stress in my life, the one that involves the scenario of me dying alone. I'm also going to be 29 in three months.
Fuck, I have to stop doing this before I just completely lose it.
For the last two weeks, my right lower eyelid has had a tic. I have also been prone to right temple headaches in addition to several frustrating and upsetting dreams. The capper? My skin is threatening to revolt: last week I was only just able to crush a rebellion uprising on my nose, and now my left cheek is looking suspect. Why is my body in such distress?
the big shit
- GMAT exam is Feb 5
- DICK people at work making my job a constant battle
- House is a mess
My friend called me last night to tell me she just got engaged. This is adjacent to yet another area of stress in my life, the one that involves the scenario of me dying alone. I'm also going to be 29 in three months.
Fuck, I have to stop doing this before I just completely lose it.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
oh yeah
So I've been pretty lame lately. Not going out, eating at home, studying and doing homework. Typical weekday is wake/commute/work/gym/commute/eat/homework/telly/bed. Very boring. But I'm getting kind of used to it.
Then today I passed by this guy and got a faint whiff of his cologne. And I was like, oh yeah--cologne men crush flutter heart kiss hold sex relationship ET CETERA. Not only have I not thought about any of those concepts in a while, I realized that I don't have time for them right now.
And it made me sad.
Then today I passed by this guy and got a faint whiff of his cologne. And I was like, oh yeah--cologne men crush flutter heart kiss hold sex relationship ET CETERA. Not only have I not thought about any of those concepts in a while, I realized that I don't have time for them right now.
And it made me sad.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
success!
The dog has been reunited with its owners! The vet's office called today to say that a lady came in this AM to pick up her dogs from boarding, saw the FOUND poster, recognized the dog as her neighbor's, and bigbangboom, the dog is safe at home with its rightful owner. Yay.
The lady called me later to personally thank me. She sounded old, told me she lost her husband and other dog (a lot older) last year, so finding this pup was extra special for her. I felt my heart go all squiggly and asked her, "Where's my fucking reward, BITCH???"
Of course I didn't do that. I just murmured and listened and said you're welcome and that was it.
But I was thinking it.
The lady called me later to personally thank me. She sounded old, told me she lost her husband and other dog (a lot older) last year, so finding this pup was extra special for her. I felt my heart go all squiggly and asked her, "Where's my fucking reward, BITCH???"
Of course I didn't do that. I just murmured and listened and said you're welcome and that was it.
But I was thinking it.
Monday, January 10, 2005
props up
Normally I avoid all mention of people who are funnier than me, but this demands exception. A snippet from a recent email of Claire's in which she COMPLETELY nails our aged parentals.
How to tell if you're becoming an old wrinklie:
1) a panto is loud
2) you can't drive without the assistance of two other people in the car who can still operate their neck
3) you buy so much overstock of ovaltine and long-life milk a beneficiary has to be included in your will
4) whining about aching body parts becomes an art form
5) it takes twelve minutes to get in and out of any car
6) the fourth part of a four-course meal is falling asleep upright in your chair
7) you have all day, every day, to drink
8) you have all day, every day, to watch reruns of law & order
9) you're on at least three prescription medicines to make it worth the trip to the pharmacy
10) having the heat on is a mindless luxury
Well done, Claire. Now stop being funny. It makes me look bad.
How to tell if you're becoming an old wrinklie:
1) a panto is loud
2) you can't drive without the assistance of two other people in the car who can still operate their neck
3) you buy so much overstock of ovaltine and long-life milk a beneficiary has to be included in your will
4) whining about aching body parts becomes an art form
5) it takes twelve minutes to get in and out of any car
6) the fourth part of a four-course meal is falling asleep upright in your chair
7) you have all day, every day, to drink
8) you have all day, every day, to watch reruns of law & order
9) you're on at least three prescription medicines to make it worth the trip to the pharmacy
10) having the heat on is a mindless luxury
Well done, Claire. Now stop being funny. It makes me look bad.
'hood hijinks
This is what happened to me yesterday evening. I know you want to know.
Left the house early for GMAT class to be able to swing by some place to get replacement battery for cordless phone. Approaching Memorial, I see a dog (unleashed/uncollared/alone) running all over the road headed straight for busy-four-lane-hit-dogs-for-sport Memorial Drive. So I pull over and call to the dog. He comes right over (pause: I know you are thinking, "Eleanor. This dog could have been violent and rabid. Why would you do something so potentially dangerous?" Because I'm a risk-taker, baby. I live on the edge. I dunno, I just had a good vibe about him. And I was right, anyway. So back to the story.) and is all friendly albeit pretty muddy and dirty. So I look in my trunk for a towel to clean him off and HE JUMPS INTO MY DRIVER'S SEAT. My virgin, just cleaned, love-of-my-life-car's driver's seat. After I came to, I used a fleece to wipe the dog down and drove him around the neighborhood to see if I could find his owners. No luck. So it gets time to go to class and I don't know what to do with this dog. Tallulah will FLIP if she thinks she's getting a new housemate. Unbelievably jealous dog. I ended up putting him in my side garden bed area of the yard (fenced off from the rest as to avoid dog confrontation) and left for class.
I'm headed toward Memorial AGAIN, and now there is a car in the road. Like parked, broadside in the middle of the road, no one in it. I had to pull all the way to the left of the road to get around it. I thought about stopping to see if someone had had a heart attack and was slumped over the wheel, but then I thought fuck that I've already saved a dog today and I have to get to class. Then in class I feel horribly guilty about this decision, and on the way home am dreading to see what happens when I turn into my neighborhood (envisioning: police lights, yellow tape, interviewing me saying, "Oh yeah, I saw it parked there, but I just drove right on by!"). But the car was gone, and turns out that it was parked in an adjacent driveway and the brake had slipped. I bet the guy's face when he looked out the window and saw his car in the middle of the road was pretty funny.
ANYWAY. Try to leave dog outside, but once he knows I'm home, begins incessantly barking. Try to leave him in basement, nope. So bring him inside, and Tallulah is actually pretty cool about it, although she keeps looking at me with pleading eyes that say, "Something is horribly, horribly wrong here." So we sleep. Me, Lu, the mutt--Ben was EXTREMELY PISSED at me for allowing an interloper in our house, so he was cata non gratis all night. Took the dog to nearby vet this AM. Hope his owners find him, he's obviously someone's--jumped on my bed to sleep, Tallulah nearly had a heart attack since she herself is not allowed up. I kicked him off, but let him stay while I was getting ready this morning, sort of a last-rites type of concession. He was pretty cute, though. Some kind of terrier.
Not even considering it, if that's what you were thinking. I'm already betrothed to the most co-dependent dog on the planet, and she just wouldn't have it.
I'll post a pic of him though. So you can see that you would have done the same thing if it had happened to you.
Still don't have battery for cordless phone. It's veritably gasping for air.
Left the house early for GMAT class to be able to swing by some place to get replacement battery for cordless phone. Approaching Memorial, I see a dog (unleashed/uncollared/alone) running all over the road headed straight for busy-four-lane-hit-dogs-for-sport Memorial Drive. So I pull over and call to the dog. He comes right over (pause: I know you are thinking, "Eleanor. This dog could have been violent and rabid. Why would you do something so potentially dangerous?" Because I'm a risk-taker, baby. I live on the edge. I dunno, I just had a good vibe about him. And I was right, anyway. So back to the story.) and is all friendly albeit pretty muddy and dirty. So I look in my trunk for a towel to clean him off and HE JUMPS INTO MY DRIVER'S SEAT. My virgin, just cleaned, love-of-my-life-car's driver's seat. After I came to, I used a fleece to wipe the dog down and drove him around the neighborhood to see if I could find his owners. No luck. So it gets time to go to class and I don't know what to do with this dog. Tallulah will FLIP if she thinks she's getting a new housemate. Unbelievably jealous dog. I ended up putting him in my side garden bed area of the yard (fenced off from the rest as to avoid dog confrontation) and left for class.
I'm headed toward Memorial AGAIN, and now there is a car in the road. Like parked, broadside in the middle of the road, no one in it. I had to pull all the way to the left of the road to get around it. I thought about stopping to see if someone had had a heart attack and was slumped over the wheel, but then I thought fuck that I've already saved a dog today and I have to get to class. Then in class I feel horribly guilty about this decision, and on the way home am dreading to see what happens when I turn into my neighborhood (envisioning: police lights, yellow tape, interviewing me saying, "Oh yeah, I saw it parked there, but I just drove right on by!"). But the car was gone, and turns out that it was parked in an adjacent driveway and the brake had slipped. I bet the guy's face when he looked out the window and saw his car in the middle of the road was pretty funny.
ANYWAY. Try to leave dog outside, but once he knows I'm home, begins incessantly barking. Try to leave him in basement, nope. So bring him inside, and Tallulah is actually pretty cool about it, although she keeps looking at me with pleading eyes that say, "Something is horribly, horribly wrong here." So we sleep. Me, Lu, the mutt--Ben was EXTREMELY PISSED at me for allowing an interloper in our house, so he was cata non gratis all night. Took the dog to nearby vet this AM. Hope his owners find him, he's obviously someone's--jumped on my bed to sleep, Tallulah nearly had a heart attack since she herself is not allowed up. I kicked him off, but let him stay while I was getting ready this morning, sort of a last-rites type of concession. He was pretty cute, though. Some kind of terrier.
Not even considering it, if that's what you were thinking. I'm already betrothed to the most co-dependent dog on the planet, and she just wouldn't have it.
I'll post a pic of him though. So you can see that you would have done the same thing if it had happened to you.
Still don't have battery for cordless phone. It's veritably gasping for air.
I think we've been here before
Have I mentioned how much I hate AT&T? Well, I do. I hate them. The latest in a long, drawn-out saga of SHIT with them is that they now won't give me skymiles on my phone service unless I make more than $50 worth of calls per month. Which I don't. Keeping in mind that skymiles is the ONLY reason I signed up with them in the first place. Hate. Them. Hate.
Don't even get me started about my wireless contract with them. Although I did email a pic from my mobile today, that was pretty cool. It will probably cost me nine skillion dollars on my next bill. See? Hate.
DEATH! REVENGE!! REVENGE FOR WANDA!
Don't even get me started about my wireless contract with them. Although I did email a pic from my mobile today, that was pretty cool. It will probably cost me nine skillion dollars on my next bill. See? Hate.
DEATH! REVENGE!! REVENGE FOR WANDA!
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Holiday Theme: sit on ass, watch telly
I kept Blockbuster in Business this holiday season. I can't even REMEMBER all the flicks I rented (NetFlix? hmm have resisted thus far), but below are highlights/lowlights/ehlights:
- Shaun of the Dead: Best film of the lot, actually going into top films for me, PERIOD. I was the annoying bitch that laughed hysterically at pretty much everything. Fanfuckingtastic.
- Napoleon Dynamite: Overall, overrated. But Kip was my favourite, and I keep hearing Napoleon's soundbites in my head, so I guess that stands for summat.
- Pretty Dirty Things: Stephen Frears film starring Audrey Tatou. Well done all round.
- Kicking and Screaming: Again, overrated--seems to be aiming for a Diner redux vibe.
- Van Helsing: Complete and utter guilty pleasure, ate pizza and drank cola just to complete the mainstreamedness of it all. So bad that my eyes involuntarily looked away from the telly at times.
- Garden State: Decent, suffers from overstrain.
- Dare to Love Me: Good, typically French. Quirkiness reminiscent of second-rate Amelie.
- I Can Sleep When I'm Dead: Mike Hodges' film with Clive Owen. Kept waiting for something that never really happened. Weak, but Clive's always scrummy. I mean, immensely talented.
If I think of the others, I'll blog. As you can see, I really got into the season. Of course, this is coming from the woman whose favourite holiday flick is Bad Santa.
Got 'em.
This photo was a visual finger that poked me between ribs 3 and 4, tickled me mercilessly, and made me pee a little.
I have to go to the bathroom now. Be right back.
Happy '05.
I have to go to the bathroom now. Be right back.
Happy '05.
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