WTF I can STILL NOT see my post from this morning! K did and already commented (which of course, I can't see either but who cares it will just be the usual whiny shizz). Blogger be damned! How DARE you give me something for nothing that doesn't work right!!

Was about to write about how bitter and jealous I am that EVERYONE seems to have either a) not worked today at all, or b) has already gone home, but then She Came Along to Me came on my media player and now I'm all happy again and shit. Yay Billy Bragg.

I hate my crybaby friends. They winge and moan at the hint of the slightest amount of things not going their way. Take my friend that I'll call Caryn. One mention from the weatherman that there will be scattered storms over the holiday weekend, and she flips. Sometimes I just want to slap that girl flat across the face. Although with my perpetual pose of beer-in-one-hand-smoke-in-the-other all weekend, I'm not sure how I would do that.

Oh yeah, I have to clean my house too.

God I love three-day weekends.

So today I have been listening to a couple of CDs I haven't played in a while, one of which is Rock Spectacle by Barenaked Ladies. I bought this CD when I was living in Martha's Vineyard the summer after I graduated from college. I was in a ratty Boston record store, and I bought this, Hello Nasty, and Ophelia. Why would I effing remember that? Anyway, while I was playing it this morning all these memories of that summer, driving around, the ocean and beaches, the people I met and became friends with, etc, all exploded into my head. Shit I haven't thought about in a long time. It know it sounds weird, but it made me want to cry, because I miss that girl that I used to be. I don't want to be her again, but I do miss her.

I met this guy this weekend, who turned out to be 25. It's funny, I felt really old around him. And yet I don't around someone like KP. Oh wait, I forgot that boys are stupid. Jesus Kevin was older than me and I always felt like I was babysitting and not getting paid. He was cute, though. The 25-year old. Arrogant and naive--just how I like 'em.

MV story: The four of us rented this house, had nine skillion parties, and drank heavily to make up for non-party days. Consequently, we had AMAZING towers of empty beer bottles and cans to recycle. Except that we only went twice. The whole summer. Each time was precipitated by the fact that we could no longer navigate our way through the screened-in porch to get out the front door. It took about 4 hours to get all our shit together and get down to the recycling place, and we always hid the NAAAAAASTY bottles with rotted limes (Corona! oh my god we drank so much of it) covered in moldy spiderwebs in them at the back so the recycler guy wouldn't see them. I remember both times we were all excited and like, "We're going to get like $500 for all this shit!" And then we would get like $48.

Better today. Got loads of sleep last night, and body not nearly as sore. Work is particularly difficult to focus on today, because I have way more exciting extracurricular things to research such as:

1. Checking out cars online (Volvo update: now she's doing this weird choppy thing when I'm accelerating, like she's gasping for air when I am speeding up. I am not a mechanic, but I sense this is NOT GOOD. My dad is all about the S40s, he will help me look for one when he is here in July. I fear it may be too late.)

2. Researching MBA programs (I really think I am going to do this, need to conduct research as to whose program is better, GSU v. UGA)

3. Potentially planning a weekend jaunt up to Chicago to see the sis

4. Finding out where the eff a post office or other mailing institution is near the office as I have approx 9 skillion things to post

5. Getting my shizz together insofar as vaccinations go for the Africa trip (Did I tell you that I inadvertently found my feared-lost passports this weekend when I was looking for my tire warranty stuff? I was so pleased, did a little dance around the house. And HELLO I'm going to Africa)

Hmm the last point reminds me what an EFFING MESS my house has become. Weekend resolution: organize shizz, shred about a million things, just generally get things tidy. Christ almighty, the MISSION it will be.

On another note, got a lovely package from mon souer yesterday--it included the soundtrack to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And my review is. . . movie good, soundtrack kind of effing sucks. Some bits are nice to have in the background when working (har the irony), but others are blenders of shit inside my ears. God on a few tracks I started to panic that I wouldn't be able to skip in time to prevent my brain splitting. It was v sweet of C to send, though--she also sent the new Diana Krall, will listen next. See what I did there? I'm figuring she might read this at some point and get pissed.

One last thing before I go: if Karen and my blogs were having a race, mine would be KICKING HER ASS.

AND ANOTHER THING!

Kev and I are splitsville. For real. It's been pretty crappy for a while, and he doesn't care anymore and I am just so sick of the same old shit that never changes significantly or for any sustained period of time. The capper came when Kev answered his mobile on Friday then immediately hung up when he saw it was me calling. After 10 minutes of stunned no he didn't I texted him: I can't believe you just did that. And he texted back: I had to.

I had to? What the eff does that even mean? I got home and crouched into a little ball on my kitchen floor and cried my smashed-up heart out. Such an amazingly powerful hurt, I kept saying no one gets to treat me like this like an effing mantra just so I wouldn't get completely hysterical. I went to sleep all snotty-nosed and gaspy. I woke up in the morning, resolute to mail him all his crappy shit back, ie; every photo I have of him and all his chintzy and gauche things that were supposed to pass as gifts (ex; the HIDEOUS stone/marble sunrise lamp thingy). I also considered mailing back the computer he built for me, and LO it broke this weekend. Won't dial up the modem. I think it is more than simple coincidence. Am thinking that the cost to mail back all the shizz is going to be extremely prohibitive. I at least need to send a prepaid mailer to get my effing silk formal and suede flips back.

Remarkably calm about the whole affair. Eff him, I've wasted enough time. And Mum was right: people just can't (hmm or won't) change who they truly are. Thanks Ma.

Damn this new blogger takes forever to post shizz. grr.

Did I mention that I am so tired today that I have nearly fallen asleep nine times in my office, my boss' office, my boss' boss' office, the bathroom, the breakroom, the cafeteria, um that's about it. I am FANTASIZING about going home, getting into my pjs, putting something on to cook, and zoning out in front of telly. It's sad, really. My body has become so progressively sore that I actually have to yank my leg up over my other with both hands into order to cross my legs. Jesus it's like effing entropy.

I might remind you that this is after one day of moderate physical excercise.

It was a good weekend.

Spent money like a rockstar at Costco AND Sam's. . . so basically screwed myself for all of June. Money-wise. But I did get a DVD player, finally. Bought High Fidelity, The Cooler, and Uncle Buck as my first DVDs. This was Saturday morning/afternoon. Puttered around the rest of the day, got my car fixed (kind of), and then went over to Kat and Erich's for Victoir's birthday party. We had our own mini Screen on the Green, so much fun. Sunday I dragged my ass out of bed and went up to Sam's where I got my tires rotated and spent another nine skillion dollars. Then to the Dodgeball Tournament in Lake Claire, where I got tagged really hard on the wrist, for which I now have a lovely wine-stain of a bruise to show for it. Then on to McKoy Park for the Thinking Man/U-Joint softball game. Played third for a while, got a line drive for a needed out. Made me feel good, all athletic and shit. Body in some serious ache today. Pathetic.

I have been DEDICATED to earning enough skymiles to go to Africa to see my sister for over a year now. It has been very tough, racking up all those credit card bills on my AMEX. WELL! I finally accrued 80k miles--what it takes to get there--and I rang up Delta the other day to book a flight. After approx 1 hour on the phone, checking every conceivable date in the 21st century, I was--in airline terminology--SOL. Nice. I was so frustrated, going date by date and getting shot down every time, that my voice began to crack while I was on the phone with this guy. I croaked priceless gems like, "Well, why do they say you can go there if you can't go there?" and "I've worked really hard to get all these miles, you know?" The guy was getting pretty embarrassed, since I was pretty much crying and all, so just before I totally lost it I barked, "I GOTTA GO!!" and hung up. Shot off a quick email to my sister declaring everything off, typing hard and furiously wiping tears out of my eyes before they had a chance to run down my face.

Fast forward to this morning. Called Delta again just to see if things had changed, and I GOT A FLIGHT!!!! It's all very exciting, 10 days in mid-Sept. Still need to finalize details/make sure it is cool with sis/etc, but hopefully will be good to go.

What a difference a couple of weeks makes. Not as catchy as a day, but that's just how it went.

By request. . .

Kev Visit, Part Two
Sports shameless mullet
Defiant with his long locks
Caesar come back please

That's right buddy: not only are you MAIMED FOR LIFE, get out of our effing zoo!!!

Talk about shit-for-luck.

Guess it wasn't hard to finger the right guy.
Didn't take a lot to point him out.
Luckily, the police gave them a hand.
Looks like they really nailed him.

Okay, it's getting weak. I'm done here.

Karen organized a dodgeball game for this upcoming Sunday. It's the first game of the year, I'm excited. But then I saw this article on the web today. And I realized that Karen is nothing but an effing trendsetter.

Whoops forgot to write one about the Kev visit.

Kev Visit
Couldn't breathe what's new
Complained about ev'rything
Why do I date him?

Therapists, you know where to call.

It would also be great if my blogger audience (read: Karen) wrote a comment every now and then. I mean, would it effing kill you? I need some acknowledgement here.

To keep me going.

Please.


Just a sign.



That someone is listening.







Anyone?

ok, so I know I posted last week about how I had all this shizz to catch up on, but the plain fact is: I'm never going to write it. Jeez I can't even post daily, let alone post multiple past days and activities. And if you thought that I was, well I can tell you now that it was a little unrealistic. I mean, really.

Hmm, now I feel like I am letting my blogger audience (read: Karen) down. How about recap haikus instead?

Birthday
All my friends with me
sweltering karaoke
Please turn the air on

New Job
Effing far away
Placated by lots o cash
My boss has a lisp

Chicago
Bonding with sisters
Eats darts zoo boat flick game shops
Hungover and broke

Well, that has sapped my creative energy for the day. Tonight I have grand ambitions of cleaning off my porch, replanting the pots, etc. I have seeds and everything.

I will probably sit my fat ass on the sofa and watch telly instead.

And there's not even anything good on tonight.

I miss my sister Claire. We hung out all week last week (see upcoming post of Chicago trip, it will be riveting), and now I miss her a lot. It makes me feel like an idiot to have lived less than five minutes away from her for almost five years and go weeks without seeing her.

Karen just emailed me to tell me she updated her blog's design. I got all excited and went to take a look. It's the same design, nothing changed. What an effing liar.

FINALLY just read Karen's blog , after nine years of not doing so, and caught up on her blogga self. She thinks I am mad at her. Nothing could be further from the truth, I was just in Chicago. Which just caps off a massive list of blogging to-do's that I have. . . to do. The list thus far:

--my birthday
--quitting my old job and starting at the new
--Kev visit
--Chicago trip

This has all been in the last three weeks, a tumultous time you will no doubt agree. So maybe I get a leetle leeway in being a bloggaslack. No? Eff you!!!

It starts to get scary when you invent fake dialogue between you and yourself on your rarely-updated blog. Sorry.