AND ANOTHER THING!

Kev and I are splitsville. For real. It's been pretty crappy for a while, and he doesn't care anymore and I am just so sick of the same old shit that never changes significantly or for any sustained period of time. The capper came when Kev answered his mobile on Friday then immediately hung up when he saw it was me calling. After 10 minutes of stunned no he didn't I texted him: I can't believe you just did that. And he texted back: I had to.

I had to? What the eff does that even mean? I got home and crouched into a little ball on my kitchen floor and cried my smashed-up heart out. Such an amazingly powerful hurt, I kept saying no one gets to treat me like this like an effing mantra just so I wouldn't get completely hysterical. I went to sleep all snotty-nosed and gaspy. I woke up in the morning, resolute to mail him all his crappy shit back, ie; every photo I have of him and all his chintzy and gauche things that were supposed to pass as gifts (ex; the HIDEOUS stone/marble sunrise lamp thingy). I also considered mailing back the computer he built for me, and LO it broke this weekend. Won't dial up the modem. I think it is more than simple coincidence. Am thinking that the cost to mail back all the shizz is going to be extremely prohibitive. I at least need to send a prepaid mailer to get my effing silk formal and suede flips back.

Remarkably calm about the whole affair. Eff him, I've wasted enough time. And Mum was right: people just can't (hmm or won't) change who they truly are. Thanks Ma.